Maybe it was the cutting satire of the European Union’s ongoing identity crisis juxtaposed with all those powdery-pink doggos. Maybe it was the celestial oases blooming from the center of that Russian soccer stadium. Smack me in the jaw and stick a sword through my spinal cord: I will make a rewatch of the fluffy puppy, adopted “fugee,” pansexual romance, propaganda crime thriller work for me.Ĭaught somewhere between “She’s the Man,” “Titane,” “The Fly,” “Body Snatchers,” and “Benedetta,” this 2018 Cannes hit was entirely unknown to me before this week - but may very well be the first men’s sports movie I have genuinely enjoyed. (They can….simply play again next year, no?) But I am enough of a cinephile to say with confidence that I’d watch the world-class queer “Diamantino” at any conceivable hour or level of discomfort. Bleary-eyed, I rolled over in bed, silenced my alarm, scrolled through dozens of Whatsapp messages, and came to a brutal conclusion: I am simply not gay enough to watch the World Cup at 2 a.m.įor this reason, I can’t say I needed much comfort in the wake of the aforementioned U.S. Last Sunday, I woke up in the middle of the night. CZ “Diamantino” © Kino Lorber / courtesy Everett Collection ©Kino International / Everett Collection The Aftermath: And the Hot Pansexuals Lived Happily Ever After ![]() I just hope the film reminds everyone that himbos truly are the backbone of our society - no matter who you support in the World Cup. I’ll shut up now, because “Diamantino” is the kind of movie you want to know as little as possible about before you start watching - and believe it or not, I really didn’t get to much of the weird stuff. What he doesn’t realize is that he’s being used as a pawn by virtually everyone in his life (and several people not in his life) - including his grifting sisters, his new son, and a radical nationalist fringe group trying to turn him into a MAGA-style leader without his knowledge. After missing a disastrous goal in the World Cup, the titular Diamantino tries to find new meaning in life by adopting a refugee child. “Diamantino” is an unclassifiable comic fantasy told through the eyes of its eponymous hero: a world-renowned footballer as dumb as he is handsome. If you still have the soccer bug but need a fun movie to drown your sorrows (and can’t bear the shame of your local theater staff seeing you at another “Barbie” screening), look no further than “ Diamantino.” The Portuguese soccer comedy from Gabriel Abrantes and Daniel Schmidt was a hit on the festival circuit in 2018 - as any movie that combined soccer, giant puppies, romances that come really close to being incest without being incest, inadvertently racist sword-and-sandal commercials, and identical twin femme fatales inevitably would. (Elimination after a 0-0 tie… what a sport!) Despite a stacked roster that brought back several of the biggest stars from the unprecedented run we’ve enjoyed over the past decade, the team was eliminated in the Round of 16 after a depressing tie with Sweden. Women’s National Team were hoping it would. Unfortunately, the FIFA Women’s World Cup didn’t quite go the way fans of the U.S. “With the high I’m riding right now, it feels like there’s no way anything bad could possibly happen to anyone for the rest of this summer.” “This is so rad,” you might have said to yourself as a himbo/soccer fan walking out of your Barbenheimer double feature. ‘Parents’ Is the Middling ’80s Cannibalism Classic Worth Reheating - Again and Again ![]() The performance was a reminder that men are just as capable of playing the ditzy sidekick as women are - and instantly took its place alongside Brad Pitt in “Burn After Reading” in the pantheon of great himbo cinema. “Barbie” became a bona fide cultural phenomenon by giving us something we never knew we needed: Ryan Gosling running around as a sexy Beach professional who does a shockingly decent Rob Thomas impression despite having nothing going on behind his eyes. The Pitch: Sad Puppy-Seeing Soccer Himbo Seeks Refugee Sonįor lovers of soccer and movies about hot guys being dumb, it’s been the highest of highs and the lowest of lows lately. Then, the spoiler-filled aftermath as experienced by the unwitting editor attacked by this week’s recommendation. ![]() On Friday nights, IndieWire After Dark takes a feature-length beat to honor fringe cinema in the streaming age.įirst, the spoiler-free pitch for one editor’s midnight movie pick - something weird and wonderful from any age of film that deserves our memorializing.
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